At least your night’s going better than mine.
I have so many readings and papers to do, I just don’t know how, or if, I will survive. As I acknowledge my mortality, this is a quick post for you to remember me by, just incase I don’t make it.
Music! Everyone needs music, right? Well I have a couple bands for you, but seeing as we’re being snippy, I will push the music upon you and you, seeing as you will probably be here tomorrow, can fend for yourself. This is the music review of tough love, which, ironically is kind of more useful than an actual movie review… Thinking for yourself, now I’ve definitely made a contribution to society. So here we go, and take this paragraph lightly, you’re a smart bunch.
Dead Man’s Bones- Pa Pa Power
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros- Home
Girls- Lust for Life
Actually, all those YouTube searches for things I already knew the titles of was really exhausting, so I’m going to leave you with old school Rachel Maddow meets new school Rachel Maddow.
I know that last blog I told you all that I have “too many women”, well, one more may be coming. And she’s not exactly my type. Yes, my mother may in fact be moving to Montreal, and as such, I may be transferring. To somewhere very far away. Very far. Across an ocean far.
The situation is this, my mom went to England with the guy from eHarmony, neglected to tell her work, and got fired. Then Sydney got sent to boarding school, she gave my dad the family dog (which is a good thing, because Dirty Old Greg, while I hate him, is really good with Zach), and gave up the eHarmony boyfriend. Apparently I’m “all she has left”, which is a total lie. And if there is a shroud of truth in it, she has probably brought it all upon herself. Probably, in that last sentence, was my attempt at being PC.
The most worrying part about having your mother threaten to move to your city for most people, is that she would embarrass you in front of your friends. The most worrying part when my mother comes to town is the fact that she is a physically and emotionally abusive right-of-center homophobe. And if she ever moved here, I honestly don’t know what I’d do.
I’ve slept on couches and floors for over half a year in order to get away from this woman. I went through two years of therapy because of this woman. And I have grown up. I’ve grown into someone that I’m not quite sure that I like, to be perfectly honest. I’ve been coming into my own these past two years, of course. But overall, I’ve come to accept that my mother has shaped me into a fundamentally terrible person. I’m trying to shake it off, really, but it’s been engrained in me.
Recently, however, I feel like there’s a different part of me coming about. Maybe I’ve grown to learn how to love people who may end up hurting me, and just maybe, I’ll become someone that I like. However that is definitely speaking too soon.
…Apologies for the angst.
[ First posted: 28/10/08 ]
And what they want, if I understand correctly, is for me to actually update this blog once in a while.
I apologize again, I really do. I just, I have committment issues, and it’s me, really. But I’m working through it, this blog is going to be awesome, despite what some people may think.
I’d like to start off, or lead in, rather, by answering some burning questions.
“So, where did you go?”
I was in the far off land of Academia. Where there are papers-a-plenty and really poorly maintained databases. I have been writing essays, doing radio pieces, stalking people in the name of personal profiles (and other stalking, but that is to come… should’ve asked a more pointed question, buddy), and other things of that general nature.
“I know you only have school three days a week. Where have you really been?”
Blast! Recently I’ve been making quite a few new friends; some of them good, like Jacob, Nora & Jill, some of them not so good, like, say, Pino Grigio. I’ve even been reconnecting with old friends, and my love life is picking up too! At least I think it is.
“What do you mean, you think it is? Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Do you have a potential girlfriend?”
“Don’t get sharp with me, you’re making up all these questions yourself anyways.”
Yes, but we’re playing pretend here. I never played house, humour me.
“Just post that Ellen video and cut your losses.”
If any of you go to Concordia, firstly, lets have coffee. Secondly, take JOUR 215, it’s an open course, so even if you’re studying to become, I don’t know, an accountant, you can get in. I actually did the reading for the class, I was shocked by me doing this too, don’t worry, I found it to be terribly enthralling. It was on the role of media in different subsets of democratic society, and it blew my mind.
I was pondering dropping this course. During the first class, the ultimate KOD was pulled out, the librarian came to tell us how to use the online catalogue, and I wanted to die, or at least download sudoku to my Mac. But after reading this article, I realize this is the class for me.
Democracy and I have a bit of a love-hate relationship. And I know what you’re thinking, “you’re probably telling us this as you sit, reading the New York Times Book Review, remarking on Sarah Palin’s dodgey politics, wearing an organic cotton v neck and sweatshop-free shoes, trying to distract yourself from the fact that conservative-minded governments are in the lead in both Canada and the US right now,” while it is creepy that you knew that, you’re right. I enjoy democracy, I enjoy learning about it, and occasionally participating in it. More so on a local level, mind you, even though I do prefer to surround myself with knowledge of national and international doings.
But I am so informed that democracy’s workings continually let me down. I read about scandal, and corruption, and I read complete garbage coming out of the mouthes of our political powers, and it makes me sick, seriously. So reading this article today, and how different types of democracy require different forms of media to keep the ‘ideal society’ for the particular democracy in check, I was frustrated because I have a clear bias of what forms of democracy I think would work best. Yet it became increasingly apparent to me that I did not live in a place in which my preferred democratic model was practiced, or even seen as legitimate.
Democracy sucks when it doesn’t work in my favour. And it never seems to work in my favour.
(First posted: 15/09/08)
It seems I missed two classes on Tuesday, who knew? Not I. But my prof emailed me the assignment, so I think things are going to be just fine. The assignment I received was actually exciting, we’re starting blogs. I know what you’re thinking, ‘don’t be so happy Lauren, I read this blog out of pity, or when I need to feel cooler than someone,’ while that may be true for 90% of you, whomever you may be, I think I’m getting the hang of this blogging thing. Plus I’m sure this class will improve my blogging skills, allowing me to be perceived as charismatic and interesting on paper. Exciting, right?
Anyways, my four day weekend is in swing. Thus far I have ordered my Internet, and the modem is going to be mailed to me at the very latest on Monday. If only I knew where my mailbox was, I may have to do some hunting after this. My number will be changed hopefully today once my mom calls Bell and tells them that it is in fact my cell phone. I felt so stupid in the Bell store today, actually. You see, I only had an afternoon class yesterday, so I spent my morning hours drinking soy lattes and stealing internet from companies that are too lazy to encrypt their WiFi. Well, I drink 5 shot lattes, and after three of them, I went to get my ID card, complete with picture. Just so we’re on the same page there, that’s 15 shots of espresso and a whole load of soy milk. Needless to say, I look really “happy” in the picture, and Pierre, the salesperson helping me at Bell commented on it saying “I guess you’re really happy to be starting school, huh?” It was thoroughly embarrassing. That is the last time I try to not look entirely indifferent.
As I sit right now, I am on a milk crate in the middle of my living room, because I’ve taken on a new cleaning strategy for this place, in which I divide rooms into sections to clean, which I will do once weekly, or as needed. Man, I am so OCD when it comes to cleaning my living quarters. I’ve gone through a huge bottle of white vinegar, and this is my third time mopping and sweeping the floors here, and I only moved in on Monday.
Okay, that patch of floor has dried, so I’m off to reorganize all my furniture again, clean some more, and repeat as necessary. I may have to clean the walls again, actually. Alright, I won’t bore you any longer.
(First posted: 04/09/08)