Cats.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to bring up the musical. Rather, I’m talking about the latest and greatest viral video marketing campaign from IKEA.

It’s okay to snicker, I did too.

A couple Brits thought it would be a great idea to let 100 cats roam free(ish) around an IKEA after hours, sparking the entire cat-crazed Internet community – commonly referred to as “the Internet community” – to go nuts and Tweet about it to their hearts content. I’m guilty of this, too, but hey, I’m down with conformity as long as it involves cats and hex keys.

This video just screams gay trap to me. Remember that episode of Cougar Town where Andy gets gay trapped?

IKEA and most everything that has to do with cats can easily be made into a gay trap for lesbians.For example, let’s take this totally fictional scenario which has definitely never happened to me before:

Person A: “Hey, did you see that futon in this month’s IKEA catalog?”

Possible lesbian: “The red one or the floral print one?”

Person A: “Gay trap.”

Possible Confirmed lesbian: “Damn.”

Of course, I maintain that could happen to anyone, lots of people read IKEA catalogs, right? In order to refine one’s gay trapping skills, you have to incorporate at least two stereotypes, or just one obscure L Word reference, into your gay trap. Enter the IKEA commercial with cats. If the lady you’re trying to trap tells you she plans on hanging out near IKEAs after hours to, uh, cruise, I guess, then there’s really no room for interpretation.

Also, any reference made to this blog is, by default, a gay trap.

 

The L Word returns?

Am I the last to the party on this one? Or is everyone else following the interrogation tapes too? They rip the rug out from under the first five seasons, and it’s a little bit crazy; everything you thought you knew. Gone. Anyways, I’m not going to ruin this one for you.Hopefully this posts, trying the new WordPress video posting widget. More here!

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The L Word: pass-time of champions

...for allowing me such photo ops.

...for allowing me such photo ops.

I’ve been gone for a couple days, as I’m sure you’re all painfully aware, but I haven’t really gone anywhere. No, this is not going to be some sort of existentialist blog, so you can stop tightening your thinking caps, this blog is all about the L Word. Yes, it’s a cliche lesbian thing to blog about, but, okay, just keep reading, I’ll eventually make sense.

    I am never just “on my computer” anymore, as it would seem that every time I’m using my computer, I’m watching the L Word, with Jesse, and occasionally Renee, Brian, Lucas & Xan, but mostly Jesse. Now, if you have been reading me for a long time (or you’ve just been lurking the shrinking archives while I was away), you’ll know that Jesse and I are terrible television watchers. Seriously, we’re awful.

    Recently however, we’ve been in a little bit of a race to get through all the seasons in preparation for the season six premiere. So, despite our inability to watch television together, we’ve actually been trudging through it. There have been a few slip ups, but they’re welcome slip ups; I’m still trying to figure out Jesse, and she’s helping me figure myself out too, just when I thought I understood who I was, she reminds me, in her own way, to keep looking deeper. Everything I thought about myself has, kind of, been turned on it’s head… but don’t worry, I’m still a huge homo.

    We’ve just finished season three, and I think I’m going to be a little bit depressed when it’s all over, I mean, it’s kind of just an excuse for J & I to catch up and watch softcore lesbian porn. What are we supposed to do when it’s all over?

    …Make our own softcore lesbian porn? My thoughts exactly.

[ First posted: 12/01/09 ]

Clementine Ford, you homo, you.

So, I was just browsing Girlfriend is a Homo, only to find that they’ve just (and by “just” I’m talking half an hour ago… I’m so up to date) posted a bit about Clementine Ford coming out. 


Hubba-da, hubba-da, I know.

Apparently, she did a bit of tell all for Diva’s March issue. And I will tell you this, the whole community is raving (by whole community I mean AfterEllen and blogs which troll AfterEllen, clearly). We all remember Clementine from the L Word; she played Molly, Phyllis’s straight and sassy daughter (yes, straight and sassy), who falls for Shane.

But on a more serious note, I would like to say that I think it’s very admirable of her to come out as a woman in the public spotlight, and I support her decision fully.

On a less serious note, you know how we joke about accepting one chick, and trying to give someone else back to the straight world? Open arms, Clementine, open arms.

I love the gays!

Okay, so this didn't really happen. But let's pretend it did.

Okay, so this didn't really happen. But let's pretend it did.

I realized how much I loved watching lesbian relationships on screen before I realized how much I loved them off. I mean, I was for a really long time, the family odd ball who sat in the corner, headphones on, watching the L Word, hanging off every word, and turning the screen away when someone asked me what I was doing. I got away with doing anti-social things like that because I’m technically “gifted” and I suppose that having brains, in the mind of my family, also meant that I’d be a little bit of a reclusive weirdo. The L Word was in no way what started it all, but that’s for another post. Why? Because I’ll have to brace you for the stories pertaining to my sexuality. 

    But I digress, the reason behind this blog is, well, I’ve realized I will watch most anything as long as there is a lesbian in it. I’m talking real lesbian playing straight, which can turn even the darkest dramas into comedies, the gay for pay chicks, which make me wish I were Katherine Moennig, attracting straight girls like pigeons to breadcrumbs. There’s even the lesbian subplot, or even the lesbian undertones in a film, book, television show, you name it. If I spot a hint of lesbian activity, pass the vegan-buttered popcorn, because I’m hooked. I’m watching South of Nowhere’s first season right now, and while it’s terribly blurry, and I’m almost over the high school-related films and shows thing, there is a lesbian. And a straight girl that’s totally gunning for her. I wish that were the way things worked out, it would be a recipe for disaster, but it would have made my life so much more convenient.

    Lesbians are so underrepresented in the media that it’s near sickening. And when we are talked about, it’s never anything good. Be it the fact that, I believe it was People, covered Ellen and Portia’s wedding and used the line “the happily ‘married’ couple.” Let’s remember that it’s actually a legally binding marriage, and that is just like spitting in the face of societal growth. Or even recently, Da Brat (who I don’t even know) was sentenced to jail time, and while I had no idea who she was, I found out soon she was a lesbian and not much more. The headline essentially said “lesbian Da Brat convicted,” while that’s not false, she is indeed a lesbian, I had to Wikipedia her in order to find out she was actually a rapper. Who knew? Not whomever had just heard of her for the first time when they read that. Rappers get into those crazy turf wars all the time, but now that she’s a lesbian, we should put it out there because that’s really the most important part of the story. What the hell? Really. This makes me so flustered that I do not even know what to do with myself, the fact that equality is so far off makes me actually feel as if we live in some archaic society that’s set in it’s ways, wrong or not. Being a vegan, lesbian (and we can lump woman in there too, for obvious reasons), feminist, environmentalist these days seems to equate to me being a radical revolutionary, bent on bringing down the economy, and society as we know it. I’m not trying to ruin your world, I’m just trying to keep my little corner of it from being trampled for no apparent reason.

    Clearly the beginning of a new paragraph is the way to not apologize for the rant above. What I’m trying to say is, that as a lesbian, among other things, I cling on to visions of other lesbians who are properly represented in the media. I like to think that watching, reading, listening, and sympathizing equals support sometimes. 

(First posted: 25/08/08)