iPhones a-plenty

I like to think I know a thing or two about a a thing or two, sexual deviants. I know not to put my new red flannel shirt in with all my white wife beaters (okay, I don’t actually have that many wife beaters, but you get the idea).  I know that putting a dome over an oil spill is kind of like putting an endangered species in a bubble so nothing can eat it. And I know that you really don’t want to fuck with Apple.

One of my favourite celesbians, Ellen, apparently hasn’t been keeping up on the fact that Apple protects its brand more diligently than I protect the good name of Tegan and Sara. She aired an spoof iPhone commercial the other day and Steve Jobs was, well, disappoint.

As someone who considers herself rather tech-savvy, I happen to have an iPhone, and, oh, does it ever make me happy. I can tell everyone where I am at all times, flood my Twitter, and thus my Facebook status updates with random, often times unwanted, witticisms – I can do most everything I want (except multi-task, but we all know that’s coming with the 4G/HD… eep!). Though, while we’re talking iPhones, I have some less exciting, more sobering news.

I think we all need to take a moment for Mark Woodland, who was killed on Saturday after arranging a date with a guy via a “social networking app” for gay men.

We should review some hard facts here: you’re probably gay. Right? Actually, you, whoever you are, are most likely gay, looking for pictures of lesbians, or someone who dislikes gay people for no apparent reason. I’m cool with the first group. Hell, I can even understand what the second group would be doing here – it’s not like I’ve never trolled the internet for pictures of lesbians only to stumble upon overly sarcastic bloggers handing out PSAs. But the last group I have a serious problem with, just as they have a serious problem with me: unfortunately, they can change their mindset to remedy the situation, I can’t change my orientation, and that seems to be something that is rather difficult to grasp for these people. You, gay haters, make me rather ill.

Now that I have that out of my system…ish, it’s time I leave you for now with a message: be careful out there, deviants. And remember, I love you all.

Lauren

Sainthood

Looking good, ladies.

Looking good, ladies.

I’m posting so much today, eh? Well, you never know when I’ll disappear into the lesbian-abyss (also known as Sweden?), so I’m going to keep ’em coming. This post is late, because every lady who’s ever seen a vagina (willingly), and has not settled for the look-don’t-touch childhood mantra has already heard Tegan and Sara’s latest track “Hell,” off Sainthood.

What is Sainthood? They’ll tell you:

But if you haven’t heard it yet, you can listen to it here:

Thoughts?

Blitz

I’m not sure how many of you picked up (okay, maybe “picked up” is a little bit arcane, I take that back, and replace it with “downloaded illegally but without an ounce of remorse”, because that’s what we’re all doing these days, myself not exempted) the I’m Not There OST. But it was pretty awesome, I downloaded it solely for the purpose of getting a taste of Karen O and the Million Dollar Bashers

I’m pretty much a musically-inclined stalker, you see. And wherever Karen goes, I go, musically speaking. I followed her to Native Korean Rock, had a brief spurt of depression when I was left to wait years between Yeah Yeah Yeahs albums, and now, with It’s Blitz! my thirst for Karen has been quenched. Musically, that is. 

I downloaded it illegally a couple days ago, and I have been listening to it non-stop (with the only exceptions being that I just got the entire Sufjan Stevens discography, as well as that one Black Kids album, you know the one). I hated Zero (which was my first taste of the album, via YouTube video) the first couple of times I heard it, and I only stomached it on mute, watching Karen on full screen. Creepy, right?

I have changed my views on Zero now, and I come at your from the other side of multiple listens to the album. It’s definitely what I’d call different. No longer acoustic, more electronic, closer to Metric, but still tip toeing away from CSS’s sophomore. The electronics, and the newly integrated piano almost make you think you’re not listening to Yeah Yeah Yeahs, until Karen starts, that is. Nick seems to have taken a backseat on this album, but I could be wrong… maybe he plays the piano (he has the moody pianist haircut)?

As per usual, it’s a solid Yeah Yeah Yeahs album, highlights outweighing low lights without dispute. I can never listen to a YYYs album and figure out what the next single will be; and it’s partially why I love them. An album with more than two songs that are radio worthy? Those don’t exist. As Sara of Tegan and Sara would say (maybe on a little show called This Just Out), those are like unicorns! 

They’ve lead with Zero, I’m hoping Heads will Roll will follow, but I could be wrong, as I’m often wrong. Other highlights, without simply giving you the track listing, of course, include Dull Life, Hysteric, and Soft Shock.

“Pick it up.”