I’d like to buy you all a drink.

Watch out, sexual deviants, your humble village crier is back – though I make no promises that I will be better than ever, I’ll probably just be the same old me. After a prolonged hiatus, three straight days of browsing the entire xkcd archives, and a whole lot of debauchery, I think it’s time I stepped back up on the old soap box, and I start yelling into the open space otherwise known as the Internet.

You already know what to expect from me – tardiness, sarcasm, and a whole lot of gay, and I hope that’s enough to keep you coming back. I’m hoping this return will end up something like this: you run into a fling at a bar, someone who you had really, really good sex with (you’re the fling in this scenario, though I don’t think we’ve all slept together… yet), and it either goes terribly awry and you can’t figure out what to say (not the outcome I’m looking for) or you hit it off and continue to hook up as often as you please, forgetting why you left one another in the first place.

Hey, where would I be if my first post didn’t include a hypothetical situation involving sex? On the wrong blog, probably.

Anyway, there will be a real post tomorrow… though seeing as it is quickly nearing 2 am, I suppose there will be a new post later today. So snuggle up by your significant, same-sex, other, and sleep tight, there will be something to laugh about tomorrow.

Lauren.

Should-be viral videos

Now, I appologize for the sporatic nature of this blog these days, I’m just so deterred by my lack of new layout that I don’t want anyone to see it in this form; look away little Jimmy, look away. But sometimes, I just cannot pass up telling my readers about the videos I see… and today, I’ve seen many videos, to say the very least. Here, my friends, is the cream of the crop (whether or not that’s a good thing, you can decide for yourself).

First, we bring you a marriage of ass jokes and fast food chains. The people that, if I remember correctly, brought us infinite hours of being blue balled by Padma eating a hamburger and licking the sauce off herself (pause to find the video right here), okay so it wasn’t the same people, but I cannot pass up the chance to share such a marvel with you. But I digress, Hardee’s has decided to advertise their new doughnut holes with a couple ass play jokes; if you miss the gay undertones, watch it again and again, it’s painful, but necessary.

Also, the Washington Post seems to be putting it’s best brightest to the case. What case is this? Poverty? H1N1? The global climate crisis? No, don’t be silly, no one cares about those things! “Twitter, Twitter, Twitter!” (fist pump if you feel so inclined), that’s what really matters to us, we are obsessed with Twitter, the people who Tweet, the things we Tweet, and the celebrities who really embarrass themselves. Today’s journalists spend their days following the likes of Tila Tequila (my favourite, self proclaimed, “sexy Asian minx”), Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, and the very inspirational P Diddy/ Puff Daddy/ Sean / That guy that knew Biggie.

More later kids, also, there’s a new InfoMania out today, featuring a That’s Gay episode on coming out, it’s well worth the 22 minutes.

On flagging

I never really understood the whole concept of “flagging” before a couple of weeks ago. Flagging is essentially a way for members of the community to let everyone know what they’re getting into, and I think it’s a pretty smashing idea. I mean, at least this way you can avoid the awkward “so maybe later I can pee on you” coming out of the blue, unless that’s what you’re looking for.

     Plus, I kind of think the bandana hanging out of some baggy-ish jeans is sexy. So I see it as a win-win situation. If only I could find a bandana shop! Because it seems the rules are pretty clear (and fussy too, yikes), and the wrong bandana could be the difference between cuddling up with your teddy bear, and finding someone who’ll move in with you a week later.

 Attached is the colour list, as well as a brief history & a how to from Wikipedia.

Wikipedia Flagging Article

(First posted: 27/06/08)