While i would love to be lecturing you about how to not compromise and stay in a relationship, I am not. Mostly because I am not in a relationship, nor have I ever been in one that I felt needed me to compromise. Today, children, I am talking about a different kind of compromise. Now gather around while Aunty Lauren tells you about how to not put off building a bike even though you live in a shitty apartment that you’re fixing up.
Once upon a time, in a land some 600 km away, there lived a girl named Lauren. Who, of course, is of no relation to me. Lauren had recently moved out to a place which may or may not still be a part of Canada (while some would argue it never was), Montreal, the one glimmering hope in the back hole of bilingualism known as Quebec. Lauren, in her infinite naivety, decided that a vintage apartment was the way to go. Much like a growing majority of her wardrobe, Lauren enjoyed vintage things very much. Aside from her vintage apartment and vintage wardrobe, Lauren loved vintage road bikes. Silly, silly, Lauren!
One morning, after assembling a bed Lauren purchased from IKEA, she thought so herself “golly gosh! This place could use a lick of paint!” Despite the fact that the above quote makes you think she is extremely intelligent, even a person of such a higher thought process can, apparently, be led down the winding road of home renovations.
But Lauren was spunky, savvy, and was already not being challenged at school, so she decided to fix a thing of two. The list of to-do’s soon took over pages in her notebooks, and hours of her precious teenagedom. Despite all odds, Lauren persevered. Sanding down walls, putting in holes, stripping paint and waxing floors until her dream was nearly realized. But during this period of betterment, Lauren’s vintage road bike sat. With no wheels, no seat post, no saddle, and cranks which still needed to be de-threaded. How could her poor road bike be cast aside? Especially with it’s new paint job, rust-free frame, and new grip tape? Nobody knew. And as winter approaches, and bike shops became weary of inquiries into cheap deep v’s on Miche high flange hubs, Lauren was in a bind.
“I can’t ride a freewheel in winter,” she thought to herself, “for I know the winters here are harsh, and that brake cables often fall victim to the sub zero temperatures. Inhibiting my ability to stop properly for all those stop lights, stop signs, and pedestrians which I always stop at because I am a law abiding citizen with all the time in the world.” Then, after reflecting on such a thought, she proclaimed “I will put my reno on hold!” Silly, silly, Lauren! You can’t use paint stripper in the cold, and you’re not about to sand off infinite layers of paint by hand. You can’t put off your reno, either!
And there the story ends, kids. It seems our protagonist, the infinitely naive but well-meaning Lauren, is in a bit of a bind. I, er, she, has yet to figure out how to free herself from this bind. However, I, as a third party, would suggest that Lauren take up something less strenuous, like making friends, which do not come with temperature restrictions or seasonal hours.
[ First posted: 20/09/08 ]