I know that last blog I told you all that I have “too many women”, well, one more may be coming. And she’s not exactly my type. Yes, my mother may in fact be moving to Montreal, and as such, I may be transferring. To somewhere very far away. Very far. Across an ocean far.
The situation is this, my mom went to England with the guy from eHarmony, neglected to tell her work, and got fired. Then Sydney got sent to boarding school, she gave my dad the family dog (which is a good thing, because Dirty Old Greg, while I hate him, is really good with Zach), and gave up the eHarmony boyfriend. Apparently I’m “all she has left”, which is a total lie. And if there is a shroud of truth in it, she has probably brought it all upon herself. Probably, in that last sentence, was my attempt at being PC.
The most worrying part about having your mother threaten to move to your city for most people, is that she would embarrass you in front of your friends. The most worrying part when my mother comes to town is the fact that she is a physically and emotionally abusive right-of-center homophobe. And if she ever moved here, I honestly don’t know what I’d do.
I’ve slept on couches and floors for over half a year in order to get away from this woman. I went through two years of therapy because of this woman. And I have grown up. I’ve grown into someone that I’m not quite sure that I like, to be perfectly honest. I’ve been coming into my own these past two years, of course. But overall, I’ve come to accept that my mother has shaped me into a fundamentally terrible person. I’m trying to shake it off, really, but it’s been engrained in me.
Recently, however, I feel like there’s a different part of me coming about. Maybe I’ve grown to learn how to love people who may end up hurting me, and just maybe, I’ll become someone that I like. However that is definitely speaking too soon.
…Apologies for the angst.
[ First posted: 28/10/08 ]